Clark Simmons'
Campaign Effort

For The
United States House of Representatives
Texas District 31



All I Really Need to Know, I Learned From Noah's Ark

  1.   Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.

  2.   Stay fit. When you're 600 years old, someone might ask you to do something REALLY big.

  3.   Don't listen to critics--do what has to be done.

  4.   Build on high ground.

  5.   For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

  6.   Speed isn't always an advantage. The cheetahs were on board, but so were the snails.

  7.   If you can't fight or flee-float!

  8.   Take care of your animals as if they were the last ones on earth.

  9.   Don't forget that we're all in the same boat.

10.   Stay below deck during the storm.

11.   Remember that the ark was built by amateurs and the Titanic was built by professionals.

12.   Remember that the woodpeckers INSIDE are often a bigger threat than the storm outside.

13.   Don't miss the boat.

14.   No matter how bleak it looks, there's always a rainbow on the other side.





More Humor


Riding a Dead Hoss

The Weather Prophet

America's Silliest Laws

Saying Grace

The Bill of No Rights

Government Specifications

What a Frivolous Group We Were

All I Really Needed to Know, I Learned From Noah's Ark

The Ant and the Grasshopper


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Clark Simmons
PO Box 293
Round Rock Texas 78680-0293
USA

512 246-2597 - Voice
512 246-1478 - Fax

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The XLData Net,
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Revised - Feb. 20, 2005

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