Who Am I?
Pres. Bush was visiting an elementary school class. He asked a sweet little girl, "Do you know who I am?"
"No", she answered back. "But if you'll ask my teacher, she'll help you find out."
Annual Performance Appraisal
Wheeler Leadfoot is a truck driver. Been trailer trucking for the same company for many years. Reliable, on time, good safety record.
Trouble is he'd been getting salary increases each year and his salary was getting quite high. The road foreman dreamed up a scheme to give Wheeler a little oral test that he was sure to fail to pass. That way, they wouldn't have to give him a large raise. The interview went something like this:
Boss: "Wheeler, suppose you are on a narrow mountain grade, sheer drop-off on one side, mountain on the other. Sudenly, your brakes fail. And you spot a long freight train crossing the road at the bottom of the grade. What action would you take?"
Wheeler: "I'd probably wake up my relief driver."
Boss: "And just what do you think he could do?"
Wheeler: "Well, nothing really. It's just that Leroy ain't never seen a real bad truck wreck!"
A Taxing Problem
One day, at a local buffet, a man suddenly called out, "My son's choking! He swallowed a quarter! Help! Please, anyone! Help!"
A man from a nearby table stood up and announced that he was quite experienced at this sort of thing. He stepped over with almost no look of concern at all, wrapped his hands around the boys testicles, and squeezed. Out popped the quarter. The man picked the quarter up off the floor, slipped it into his pocket and went back to his table as though nothing had happened.
"Thank you! Thank you!" the father cried. "Are you a paramedic?"
"No," replied the man. "I work for the IRS."
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