On Line Since 1992 Round Rock Texas USA
Humor
Texas Proud
When you're from Texas, people that you meet ask you questions
like, "Do you have any cows?" "Do you have horses?" "Bet
you got a bunch of guns, eh?" They all want to know if you've
been to Southfork. They watched Dallas.
Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me
just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast,
and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as
anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world
looks at it they know what it is. It's Texas. Pick any kid off the
street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt and he'll
know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other
state? You'll get it maybe after a second, but who else would? Even
if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?
In every man, woman and child on this little rock the Good Lord put
us on, there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live
Texan and get up on a horse or ride in a pickup. There is some bit of
Texas in everyone. Did you ever hear anyone in a bar go, "Wow...so
you're from Iowa? Cool, tell me about it?" Do you know why?
Because there's no place like Texas.
Texas is the Alamo. Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing
thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the
chance to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight
and die for the cause of freedom.
We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and James
Bowie and Crockett and do you know why? Because those men saw
a line in the sand and they decided to cross it and be heroes.
John Wayne paid to do the movie himself. That is the Spirit of Texas.
Texas is Sam Houston capturing Santa Anna at San Jacinto. Texas is
Juneteenth and Texas Independence Day. Texas is huge forests of
Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett National Forest. Texas is
breathtaking mountains in Big Bend and tropical beaches on Padre Island.
Texas is shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas. Texas is world record
bass from places like Lake Fork. Texas is Mexican food like nowhere in
the world, even Mexico. Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards and the Bass Hall.
Texas is larger-than-life legends like Willie Nelson and Buddy Holly,
Earl Campbell and Nolan Ryan, Denton Cooley and Michael DeBakey,
Sam Rayburn, George Bush, and George W. Bush.
Texas is great companies like Dell Computer and Compaq. Texas is
huge herds of cattle and miles of crops. Texas is skies blackened with
doves, and fields full of deer. Texas is a place where cities shut down
for the Cowboys on Monday Night Football, and NIOSA River Parade
in San Antonio.
Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and
prairies, and modern cities. If it isn't in Texas, you don't need it.
No one does anything bigger or better than it's done in Texas.
By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. that can fly
its flag at the same height as the U.S. flag. Think about that for a
second. You fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland, or California,
or Maine, and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17. You fly the Stars
and Stripes in front of Pine Tree High in Longview at 20 feet, the Lone Star
flies at the same height - 20 feet. Do you know why? Because we
place being a Texan as high as being an American down here.
Our capitol is the only one in the country that is taller than the
capitol building in Washington, D.C. We included these things in as
part of the deal when we came on. That's the best part right there.
WHEN WE CAME ON. Texas was its own country. The Republic of
Texas. Every time I think of that I tear up. It makes you proud to be
a Texan!!
If you are a REAL TEXAN, .
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
4. Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies.
5. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
6. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: "I am fixing to go to the store".
7. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, flower, or animal.
8. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
9. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
10. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe-hunting" are.
11. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and picante sauce.
12. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
13. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
14. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for football and hockey.
15. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
16. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
17. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm".
18. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas.
19. You know whether another Texan is from southern, middle, or northern Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
20. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 500 or more.
21. Going to Walmart is a favorite past-time known as goin wal-martin' or off to Wally World
22. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
23. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
24. You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends no matter where they live in case they are planning to visit.
A wise man once said, "Never ask a man where he's from;
if he's from Texas, he WILL tell you. If not, there's no need to
embarrass him!"...
YEE HAW...I'm from Texas and I'm proud of it!!!
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